when will my reflection show who im inside.

whats there inside me.

20 April 2008

Wasted Tears
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first time when i saw you..
You're nothing special, you look just like everyone..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And i didn't really care much too..
Was having BBQ at that time..
Is just not my day, i think..
Everything was not what i wanted..
I seems to be "transparent"..
True enough maybe i am..
So you can do whatever u likes..
Just go ahead take me as nothing..
What more can i explain..
Nothing much..
You should know it best yourself then me right?
The action you did the words you say can killed..
Fine.. i'm very fine with it..
Good to always see the real people..
I had wasted all my tears not for you anymore but for myself for been so silly..
I'm crying really painfully yet the person beside me was somebody else..
I could hear laughter, jokes and whatever shit..
I cried for been so silly & foolish..
That all i gonna say...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the way, after all the talking and joking..
Your face bring a picture to my mind..
Your laughter, Your smile and the way you talk..
It really remind me of the picture of someone special..
I kept telling myself you two are different person..
And stop lying to myself..
The moments i saw your laughter, it really warm my heart..
Is like we had known for a long time..
But for that i know i'm just lying to myself..
The moment you're around i really got the urge to hug you..
But after all i know i can't..
It sadden my heart...
&
Sour my heart too..
The moment you said goodbye to them..
Tears was just flowing in my eyes..
I really, really almost jump out of the bed and follow you back..
By the time i reach the door..
I can't see any of you..
And i know is time to let go and face the fact..
But i didn't..
I kept telling myself would i still see you at the bus stop or somewhere else..
I kept lookin around..
Searching for you..
But i know you're gone..
And i know is IMPOSSIBLE..
I just have to tell myself to stop dreaming..
Let it go..

The picture that still carried in my mind..
The sweet story that still carried in my heart..
The laughter that push on to my soul..

The first and the last is always the most hurtful..

Nothing more i could ask for..
All i ask for is to look at you for the once last time..
And to keep in contact..
I'm just lying to myself...

Unknown SHADOW

behind the mask Sunday, April 20, 2008

>mirrored.

I WAS NEVER ONCE A HAPI BOY
EviL-ShaDow
15th Nov 1988
19yo
Mandai Hill Camp
Jonathanjame999@hotmail.com
About mi
I have selective memory loss
I have very bad short term memory
I am a "sudden arrival and departure
I am eccentric
I am impetuous
I love and desire for things that I cant have
I don’t know how to cherish things that I have
I have a big attitude problem
I live in confusion
I don’t know what I want in life
I have a split personality – as of always
My life is filled with confusion, blunders and scandals... I will have bad karma I know…
Love me for who i am, if not fuck off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
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BY THE WAY IF U ALL FIND ANYTHING SUSPICION
IN ShaDow'S BLOG OR POST
DON'T SUSPECT
MAYBE YOUR'RE RIGHT
ShaDow IS NO LONGER THE ShaDow U ALL HAD SEEN
HE IS IN ANOTHER PATH OF
LIFE

>othermasks.

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>wishlist.

FAster ORD

To find the real me
Learn to love myself before loving someone
Die before 30 - think i had live enough
If i were to die let me die with a tragic death -i know, i had done too much sins
Let me suffer once like how i did again
No more plastic and no more drama
There's no forever, so i just wish for a ever lasting relationships
To talk less & listen more
Never trust anyone whereby i don even trust myself
No more RealityShips
A message from you
Nothing gonna change my love for you
To have a chance to "mend" back
Slap me hard everytime when u see me, just to wake me up